Disturbed Just Damaged Michael Jordan’s Legacy

After a concert at Chicago’s United Center earlier this month featuring Disturbed, Three Days Grace, and Sevendust, the venue’s staff realized there was “minor damage” to the Bulls’ six NBA championship banners. Apparently, the concert’s pyrotechnics, located directly underneath the banners, literally darkened the legacy of the team in a way the stories of Michael Jordan’s gambling and Dennis Rodman’s smelliness never could. According to the Chicago Tribune, after the concert, “The fabric of all six banners showed significant heat damage that warped their bottom halves.” It was almost as if the banners were “Inside the Fire,” which is, in fact, the name of the seventh-most-played Disturbed song on Spotify.

Considering how many concerts occur at basketball arenas all over the world, the fact that this happened at all is frankly quite disturbed-ing. Also disturbed-ing is the fact that, for the rest of the season, the banners will be down. And down with the sickness, no less. (“Let the banners hit the floor,” you might joke, but you’d be wrong, as that’s Drowning Pool.)

Just imagine it: There you are, on March 27, watching the well-below .500 Chicago Bulls fighting for their lives for that last play-in game slot and losing to the Los Angeles Lakers, so you stare up toward the rafters to remember a sweeter time when it was Chicago who had the GOAT, but instead you see an empty space. Hello, darkness, my old friend, you’ll think to yourself, obviously quoting Disturbed’s 2015 cover of “The Sound of Silence,” which, disturbed-ingly, has 200 million more streams on Spotify than the original. Talk about things that make you say, “Oh, ah, ah, ah, ah.”

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