Let’s Predict The White Lotus Season 4

ABLUpdated 1 week Ago2 Mins read4

Photo: Vulture; Photos: Getty Images (Dia Dipasupil, Presley Ann)

Season three of The White Lotus has come and gone, and while Mike White continues arguing with his ex-composer instead of celebrating the success of his show, the rest of us have work to do. Namely, predicting the cast and location for the next season. Many are prophesizing that the show, after three seasons of extreme heat, will finally take a turn for the snowy with its next season (can somebody say Sandra Hüller?). But producer David Bernad told The Bill Simmons Podcast that “Mike does not like the cold.” What we do know is that White doesn’t like the idea of being too basic. “Where we choose to go next could be hugely impactful [to that locale],” he told THR ahead of the season-three finale. “That’s why it was so cool to shoot in Thailand. It’s hard to go backward. Like, ‘Oh, we’ll do it in Paris!’ That feels like a cop-out.” So we’re going to take a stab at predicting The White Lotus’s fourth season. No guts, no glory, right? The one rule: There must be a Four Seasons hotel in the area, since that’s typically where the show films.

Argentina (Buenos Aires)

The White Lotus has yet to travel to South America, despite its heat, which makes Buenos Aires a perfect spot to feel both distinctively White Lotus–ian but still fresh. Plus, given that Argentina is where some Nazis fled after WWII, there’s a rich history of still-relevant villainy that would heighten the stakes of a show that already revolves around a murder. With that in mind, we think he should cast Christoph Waltz. He does TV now, guys!

Dubai

You know where there are a lot of rich people and a lot of very tall buildings? Dubai. To be fair, this would be pretty difficult, given that the UAE is not known for being forthcoming with its filming permits and may not love the debauched energy coming off the production. But hey, this show is a big hit on HBO, right? Maybe the UAE will make an exception. If Mike White can do it, we think he’s gotta cast someone gay, and we’re picking Christopher Guest fave (just like Parker Posey and Jennifer Coolidge) Jane Lynch.

Sydney

The White Lotus would do well on the large island of mullets and koalas and things that want to kill you. It’s a frightening place! But you know what else is frightening? Messy interpersonal dynamics. Given the terrifying nature of the nature in Australia, we imagine this season would have to feature a lot of excursions, and it would also need a really good screamer in the cast. And nobody but nobody screams better than Regina Hall.

Cairo

At some point, The White Lotus should contend with the entire continent of Africa. Given that, over the course of the show, White has written exactly one Black main character (though she’s appeared twice), that might be worrisome. Still, we think Cairo, with its comparatively well-known ancient history and mythos (who didn’t read Egyptology as a preteen?), would make a lot of sense for White. And when he does do an Egyptian season, he should probably cast Rami Malek, since he’s got a weird vibe.