Hacks Recap: Coyote Ugly

Like the wilds of Los Angeles, Deborah’s dreams are full of coyotes. These coyotes are howling, which they do to assert their ownership over territory — how fitting! Would that it were so simple for human women! But Deborah and Ava must battle for dominance in other ways.

For my money, Hacks is at its best when both of our leads are at least a little bit right, so I enjoyed the slow reveal of Deborah’s real takeaway from the New York Times Magazine story. What starts as typical Deborah egomania — she rages that the story is “bullshit” and that it gives Ava credit for all her ideas — eventually turns out to be something more complex and legitimate. Yes, Ava made Deborah more “relevant,” but only to a certain demographic, and that’s not the demographic she needs (or at least, not the only one she needs) to make a successful late-night show. And part of what makes Ava’s blackmail so egregious — aside from the whole thing where it’s, you know, blackmail — is that the question of whether or not Ava really deserved this job is an open one. Sure, she’s something of a Deborah-whisperer, but the head-writer job is about much, much more than that, and Ava has yet to prove she is up to all of the tasks.

So, no, Josefina will not cancel Deborah’s Times subscription — she needs Wordle and insists the Post’s Arts & Culture section “doesn’t even scratch the surface.” Assuming she means the Washington Post, I must correct her: It’s called Style!

I love that Deborah brought back Diana, her psychic from Sedona, to just hang around the office as a “consulting producer” while wearing an insane quantity of turquoise jewelry. Diana remembers that Ava had “the purest aura I’d ever seen,” but, alas, she doesn’t have it anymore. All of her line readings are so good. I especially enjoyed “Lots of sad divorced men have sat in these chairs” and “Does the phrase ‘hat on a hat’ mean anything to you?”

Despite Jimmy’s plea that they stay apart, Ava storms into Deborah’s office to argue about their writing hires. (Deborah, horrified: “We’re not going to hire unemployed people!”) It feels obvious from the jump that the correct solution to this problem is a compromise, but it takes these two knuckleheads the rest of the episode to figure that out. Ava is horrified to learn that Deborah plans to be in the writers’ room, which is traditionally the head writer’s domain. Later, Deborah tries to rule the kitchen as well, by chucking the pour-over into the recycling bin. I do not want to be a boomer, but I do think she’s right about office coffee needing to be automatically dripped. It doesn’t have to be shitty, but it does need to be something that’s quick and easy and not a whole production. Ava responds to this by calling Deborah “Bitchabod Crane.” Anyway, as Ava did not think to spray bear pee at the door — and remember: The bear has to be male — Deborah will not be dissuaded from running the writers’ room or the kitchen.

Ava and Deborah go to the Comedy Store to scout a potential hire, a comic who (perfect details here) has an Arli$$ rewatch podcast and did the roast of Naomi Watts. She is also very pregnant. Deborah immediately bails. She and Ava have a huge fight in the street, where Deborah says women cannot be moms and write for late-night shows, and Ava says that saying that is “illegal,” and Deborah’s hilarious response to this is, “Well, slavery was legal! The law isn’t always right!” What a TAKE. I also lost it at Deborah pretending to agree with Ava only to admit that she actually did not: “I just said that because I thought it would end this conversation!”

Finally, Deborah levels with Ava about the real issue. “You’re very good at what you do. But you’re not the right person to lead that show.” If only she had said this sooner! Instead, she said it now, in a screaming match that was recorded and probably livestreamed by the crowd that assembled outside.

Winnie invites them over for dinner at her concrete palace because, as they should have known, she’s seen the video and is very unhappy. Winnie lays down the law. I hate to side with the boss, but, honestly, she is correct about everything: Ava and Deborah are public figures who need to get their shit together; they’re behind schedule; George Clooney only does pranks because he’s sick. It is embarrassing for Deborah and Ava that they do not have a ready answer to the question, “What’s your Carpool Karaoke?” They didn’t have any bits planned? That’s not exactly a new concept. Even Letterman had a Top Ten! What did they think this job would entail, exactly?

It turns out Deborah’s competition for this job was not some man in a suit but a clip show. (A woman shoving another woman off the glass cliff: Whatever wave of feminism we’re on, I am having a great time!) They air in a month and need a hit by the end of the year. It’s all very “We need $3,000 to save the rec center, and this dance contest has a $3,000 prize!” (complimentary). So it’s time for a truce. Or, well, it’s time for a staged hug in front of the security cameras. And then it’s time for a writers’ retreat. We’re going back to where it all began: Vegas, baby!

In other Deborah news: After a hostile meeting with lawyers in which she pioneered new ways of wearing leopard print on leopard print, Deborah makes peace with Marcus. I, for one, am relieved this particular squabble didn’t drag on for too many episodes, for Marcus’s sake and ours. He reminds Deborah that he was once as out of his depth as Ava. It’s not quite apples-to-apples, as I’m pretty sure he never blackmailed Deborah, but what do I know? Marcus has a complex inner life about which I know so little.

Over at Jimmy and Kayla’s office — exact name TBD; it’s giving Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce Cutler Gleason and Chaough — we’re carrying over our wild-animal motif, as Kayla has decided to corner the market on animals and children. It’s chaotic for all the reasons you’d expect: crying clients, poop on the floor, and, as Kayla explains, “There are too many dogs with human names and humans with dog names.” Somehow, she still finds time to get Ava the perfect apartment at the Americana, and though Ava initially resists — “This is not the land. This is Glendale.” — she soon sees the method to Kayla’s madness and the beauty of living so close to a Claire’s.

And Kayla found the perfect assistant: Randi (played by Robby Hoffman, a comedian Vulture said you should and will know), who was Hassidic until just last week but is rapidly adjusting to the ways of this modern world by seeing Speed (great movie!) and learning to use a landline. Randi has startlingly excellent business acumen, a real sharp read of the industry for someone who has, as far as we know, seen only one movie so far and only a smattering of questionable opinions (“Résumés are printouts of lies”). Yes, she’s going to need two sinks even though she’s probably an atheist now. But if she will be doing the work of two assistants, is that really such an unreasonable ask? See? She’s easy!