Top Chef Recap: Garbage Pail Skids

On a show celebrating food and the making of it, there may be no sadder sight than the remnants of potentially beautiful dishes seeping into the depths of a garbage can. Remember the world’s horrified shock at watching an otherwise lovely Great British Baking Show contestant chuck his melting Baked Alaska into the bin? That was over ten years ago, and yet the memory of its botched remains endures. What could have been?! What should have been?! What will never be, thanks to the all-too-human errors of confusion and impatience.

And so as poor, sweet Henry stared into the garbage to see his pickled mise en place staring right back at him, I just wanted to climb through the screen, give him a hug, and ward off any oblivious judges who’d hammer him for a mistake that wasn’t even his. (Imagine Charlotte at Carrie’s wedding on Sex and the City, except I’m pointing my defiant “NO!” finger at Tom Colicchio instead of Big.) But what a cruel twist of fate that saving Henry results in the huge and unexpected blow of sacrificing none other than Katianna.

The episode doesn’t start off this complicated; in fact, the opening Quickfire is about as basic as they come. The show’s latest stab at corporate synergy comes courtesy of sponsor Chipotle, which provided the cast with a lunch that now must serve as inspiration for a new dish. They can only use their own lunch’s ingredients, which at first seems like a disadvantage for those who ordered a simple quesadilla (Vinny), salad (César), or gluten-free protein bowl (Katianna). But they still have plenty of fresh veg thanks to salsa, so that becomes less relevant anyway.

It wouldn’t have been much more interesting, but I’m not sure why the Quickfire didn’t echo its guest judges —Top Chef Masters alum Susur Lee and son Jet Bent-Let — more directly. In their viral TikToks, Susur turns cooked fast food into gourmet meals. Giving chefs baskets of very similar ingredients isn’t the same, and just results in a whole bunch of Mexican-ish dishes.

Some do go outside the box. Tristen spins his double steak burrito into a West African–flavored tartare with obe ata–inspired sofrito; Shuai attempts a Japanese ochazuke with a broth and brown rice; babygirl César creates a grilled “César salad” that gets a smile and a “that’s cute” from Kristen. Unfortunately, Shuai’s undercooked rice lands him in the bottom alongside Henry’s panic quesadilla and Vinny’s sad chilaquiles. Tristen’s and César’s risks pay off, though, with Massimo and Paula’s tostadas joining them in the top four. But it’s once again Tristen who wins the $10,000 for transforming his double steak burrito the most, prompting Kristen to point out that three wins in a row means he’s officially on one hell of a streak.

Much to his dismay, though, the Elimination Challenge is to create a tasting menu based on pickles — a food Tristen apparently loathes. He’s clearly well liked but doesn’t get a lot of sympathy from his fellow chefs here. As Vinny says, every time Tristen doesn’t love what he’s working with (see: figgy duff, Greek food), he tends to crush it anyway. That’s called being good at Top Chef, my dude!

When it comes to pickles, I’m with Lana; more is more is more. But much to my dismay, this Elimination Challenge will pit the chefs against each other in head-to-head contests. The first team that gets to three winning courses will win the challenge outright, thus dooming the other team to final judgment.

There’s always drama with this format, whether or not you have chefs like Spike Mendelsson trying to game the system to secure victory. Unless there’s a true blowout team performance, chefs who did great dishes inevitably provide cover for chefs who whiffed it — or vice versa, since losing chefs can tank a team and make chefs who nailed it ineligible for the win. Too often, the judges end up making decisions they’d rather not.

So tl;dr: The episode’s eventual outcomes — both in terms of the winner and the loser — just aren’t nearly as satisfying as they should be, if only based on the actual dishes under consideration.

Since Tristen and Bailey have immunity, they each get to pick the teams. Tristen goes for Katianna, who loves herself some pickled veg; they then consult each other in intense whispers before selecting Shuai, César, and, finally, Henry. Bailey goes with Lana, Paula, Vinny, and, lastly, Massimo. He’s clearly annoyed (who wouldn’t be!), but in fairness, he also becomes the Looney Tunes Tasmanian Devil the second any timer goes off. He’s great TV, but as someone working mere inches from you? Yeah, I’d hesitate, too.

Though the actual “progression” part of these progressive menus barely factor into the final judging, there’s a rhyme and reason to the concept, with each course assigned a different kind of pickle. Shuai and Massimo go head-to-head in the first with cornichons. Tristen and Vinny are next up with full sours. Katianna and Lana take on dill for the third, while the fourth, cooked by Henry and Paula, must feature spicy pickles. Finally, César and Bailey round out the meal with bread-and-butter pickles.

What follows is … weird. It was weird, right? That’s not to knock the food. There’s so much creativity and technique at play, especially for those chefs who embrace the concept and twist their own expectations. But it’s jarring to see it all play out in such a way that the judges’ overwhelming favorites can’t win, while the loser goes home almost on a technicality.

Tristen and César are responsible for the “exceptional,” “stunning” dishes that King Grump Tom gushes are two of the best he’s ever had on Top Chef, period (!). As per Vinny’s prophecy, Tristen once again finds his own delicious way to use an ingredient he’s otherwise uninspired by, turning out a charred mackerel with burnt pickles and a celeriac pickle jus that the judges might’ve licked off their plates if there weren’t cameras ten inches from their drooling faces. César, our soft-spoken prince of innovation, is genuinely excited by the idea of making a pickle dessert. His subsequent pickle curd, mustard seed tart, and dill ice cream blows the judges’ minds. Once their team loses three head-to-head votes, though, neither can win.

We’ll never know if Henry’s short rib would have beaten Paula’s octopus if Shuai hadn’t (accidentally!) thrown out all his “beautiful little garnishes” ten minutes before plating. If it had, though, it’s very likely that immunity would’ve gone to Tristen or (my pick) César. Katianna might’ve escaped the chop in favor of Vinny, who apparently made yet another worse version of something he made at Nomad. But once Henry’s incomplete dish confirmed the team’s loss, it came down to him and Katianna, whose cucumber seed porridge with chopped tofu and clam vinaigrette … well … kinda grossed everyone out, texturally speaking.

Henry’s dish wasn’t pickled enough; he apparently didn’t nail the short rib cook, either. But no matter how much he’s been struggling, Top Chef prides itself on judging each chef on a single dish rather than their overall output. Katianna finished her dish, but no one liked the result. It’s a tough pill for her to swallow — especially because she doesn’t seem to agree with their critiques.

So who’s the winner? Why, none other than last-pick Massimo!

Look, I’m not mad about it. In challenging himself to best Gail’s favorite Montreal tartare, he creates his own version served inside of a fried pickle “cannolo,” and may I just say: gimme. Sure, his stove-top potatoes briefly became engulfed in flames, leading to his fellow chefs rolling their eyes at the “rookie move.” But he crucially doesn’t make the classic Top Chef follow-up mistake of serving those potatoes just for the sake of it. (He also immediately jumps in to sous for the rest of his team once he’s done, which is frankly the good and right thing to do after almost blowing up the kitchen.)

Massimo wants to be thrilled at finally clinching a win. But it’s also preceded by the judges — including James Beard CEO Claire Reichenbach and Top Chef: Wisconsin winner Danny Garcia — basically saying that they wish they could reward Tristen or César instead. Tough. Still, he’ll take the immunity (and a heartfelt compliment from Tom that leaves him adorably gobsmacked) any day.

Leftovers

• Full disclosure: I already knew Katianna was going to be eliminated thanks to an unfortunate error in this week’s screeners that revealed her on Last Chance Kitchen before I got to watch the actual episode. So I was surprised to see her ostensibly final episode … barely features her at all? I can only hope this means she makes it out of Last Chance Kitchen alive, because I agree with her: She deserves to get back in.

• Shuai’s utter horror at realizing what he’d done to Henry’s food was as warranted as it was harrowing. RIP “Asian Sensation Redemption Tour.” 🙁

• Kristen Kish Suit Envy Watch: What, am I not going to love a sleek tux jacket with blue-velvet lapels?! Am I made of STONE? Please. (9/10)

• Same “I’m but a human being with feelings!” applies to this episode’s peeks at Paula and Massimo’s home life, which both feature adorable children and a shared determination to do right by them. Like, come on.

• I love César and his smiling grapefruit, but the revelation of him growing plants underneath his bed stresses me out. What if they mold? Is the light on all night? I have follow-up questions!

• “I’m not afraid of embarrassing myself.” We know, Massimo. We know.