Deal or No Deal Island Recap: Family Matters

On Deal or No Deal Island, there are two kinds of people: those who want to take fate into their hands and face the banker and those who cower at the thought. It’s a question of temperament more than anything; we’ve seen great players choose to duel, and we’ve seen some major doofuses do it, too. (*Cough* Luke *cough*.) The reasons not to face the banker are obvious: No one wants to risk elimination because they picked the wrong briefcase. But this week, our most annoying villain, Dr. Will Kirby, proved that facing the banker can pay off big time.

We all knew this guy would be a pain in the ass from the moment he showed up on the island in a tuxedo, but somehow, he’s even more insufferable than expected. Unlike most reality TV heels who win us over with their dastardly shenanigans, Dr. Will seems to have been born with the charisma of an old mop. His tactics are obvious, and his comebacks sound like they came from a middle-school playground. (This week, he literally pulled out a “nunya,” as in “nunya business.” That’s what we’re dealing with here.) And yet he’s well on his way to dominating this game. Why? Because as odious and formidable as Dr. Will might be, most players know that the real threat in this game is its strongest alliance, “The Family.”

Now that the player pool has dropped to ten, Team Family is too powerful for its own good. The Family is a nuclear unit of four, which means that in many cases, they’ll make up a strong plurality. Its “mom” and “dad,” Parvati and David, are Survivor champs; their “daughter,” M.G., has proven herself during the show’s weekly excursions; and their wiley “son,” Dickson, just scored an incredible $5 million during his duel with the banker last week. Put all of that together, and they might as well have painted the targets on their own backs.

Dr. Will knows this. Everybody knows this. So of course he’s gonna use that against them — and this week’s excursion presents the perfect opportunity for sabotage.

Just like last week, the banker has ditched the physical challenges for a social game. After letting everyone partner up as teammates, our host and banker’s minion, Joe Manganiello, reveals they’ll actually compete against one another. Each pair will sit on opposite sides of a tower. At each level of the tower, the players will see briefcases with randomized values that their partner cannot see. At any time, either player can pull a rope, locking in that level’s briefcase value for both players and sending their partner to the ground. In each pair, whoever locks in the higher value wins safety from elimination.

In other words, each player must decide whether to prioritize securing safety for themselves or locking in the highest possible value for the final prize pot. Some players choose to face this challenge by negotiating honestly with their partners, and others decide to lie. This is where alliances are tested and, in some cases, possibly broken.

Lete and La Shell go first, and predictably, they both play a clean game. La Shell is desperate for safety after weeks on the chopping block, but Lete’s highest-value case is worth $500,000 more than her most valuable case, so she bravely lets Lete win. Seychelle and C.K. also collaborate honestly to secure their highest-value case, as do David and M.G. But when Parvati and Phillip’s turn comes, we watch an alliance fall apart in real-time.

Parv and Phillip always pick each other as challenge buddies, but their bond doesn’t run as deep as that of The Family. Parvati knows Phillip is great in excursions but doesn’t think he has strategic chops, so she maintains some distance. Phillip plays the good soldier most of the time, but he clearly doesn’t trust her. Why else would he lie to her about the case value he wants to secure? He says it’s worth $1.5 million, but in reality, it’s $1.6 million. Parvati, who is indeed never to be trusted, tells Phillip that her case on the same level is also marked as $1.5 million when it’s actually $1.8 million.

Phillip’s anger when he realizes Parvati lied is a little silly, given that he fibbed first, but regardless, this could have major implications for future challenges.

Dickson and Will get stuck together after no one else picks them for their teams and wind up going last. It’s no secret they hate each other. Dickson promised Will last week that he’d send C.K. home but went for his own rival, Storm, instead. Now, Will’s convinced Dickson is a “weasel” and wants to face the banker himself so that he can seize control of the game. He throws the game, losing on purpose to guarantee he has a chance to do so.

Here’s where things get weird (and, frankly, tedious). Will wants to pull his rope first so that he can physically look down on Dickson (or something???) and throws a hissy fit when they pull their ropes at the same time. As in, he literally walks away. Will explains his reasoning multiple times, but honestly, I still don’t get it. In the end, he just likes to hear himself talk, and for this reason, everyone understandably hates his guts.

Lete locks in the highest-value case in the excursion, which means she gets to pick who faces the banker. Like any smart social strategist, she’ll take any option that keeps her hands clean and preserves her alliances. When Will volunteers, she happily acquiesces.

This is bad news for The Family because pretty much everyone wants to break them up — including and especially Will. In some cases, the reasons are personal. Seychelle wants Dickson gone because he annoys her; Will wants Dickson gone because he betrayed him; Lete wants Parvati gone because she (correctly) sees her as the “head of the snake.” Sadly for M.G., she’s the only Family member up for elimination. The writing is on the wall even before Dr. Will picks his first briefcase.

Obviously, Dr. Will wins his Deal or No Deal duel with the banker. Of fucking course he does. We’d never be so lucky as to see him go home this soon. If he had, I’d have played the lottery immediately.

I’ll say this for the so-called doctor: He knows how to get under people’s skin. Rather than pick briefcases based on, say, favorite sports players, he goes numerically, picking 12 as his own briefcase and then opening the rest in numerical order. One, two, three, four … etc. This pisses everyone off, but I’m not actually sure why. Like it or not, it really makes no difference how one picks these briefcases; that portion of this game is always an arbitrary game of chance.

But what did we think about Will’s fake-out halfway through the game, when he “accepted” the deal only to turn around and reject it? He acted like everyone who yelled at him for accepting had somehow showed their hands, but didn’t we already know they hated him? What new information did he glean from that? Once again, it felt like so much hot air from a guy who’s got enough of it to fill a balloon and travel around the world.

Anyway, Will ultimately adds $168,000 to the prize pot and sends a crestfallen M.G. home. Team Family is furious and is obviously coming for him, but I’m not sure how much of a threat that is right now. Like it or not, Will might’ve just gotten the upper hand.

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See you all next week!