Every Boy I Know Is Obsessed With ‘Pipe Rock Theory’

ABLUpdated 4 weeks Ago1 Mins read12

For the first minute or so, you’d be forgiven for thinking Conner O’Malley’s latest work is another sendup of Joe Rogan–style “whoa, dude!” podcasting, albeit a funny one. Its conceit is that inside many rocks and mountains around the world, there exist pipes that use “ancient Vedic technology” to steal energy and make you tired. (“I’m feeling, like, so tired by this rock!” O’Malley as the podcaster “Kevin Podcast” says next to a hollowed-out rock with pipes inside.) But like all of his projects, it takes progressively weirder turns over the course of five minutes, leading him into a To Catch a Predator–style shakedown in a Target followed by a Scientologist sex ritual with Tom Cruise and “Protestant singer” Bono (played by two quite impressive impersonators).

This culminates in an alt-right fever dream where a group of vigilantes led by Santa Claus shoots up the celebrity pipe-rock sex ring, all thanks to Kevin Podcast’s bravery, which is rewarded by the “inaugural Presidential Podcasting Medal of Informativeness.” Kevin Podcast replies with a “non-pedophilia” cover of R. Kelly’s “I Believe I Can Fly” while wearing a “Who Ate All the Pussy” shirt. For obvious reasons, every boy I know is obsessed with this video; Chapo Trap House’s Felix Biederman dubbed it the “greatest piece of art from the Trump 2 era.” And yes, there are people who think it’s real. Once again, Conner O’Malley shows us he understands these freaks better than anyone else on Earth.