Everything Stassi Does on Vanderpump Villa

The new season of Vanderpump Villa has one thing going for it: the return of Stassi Schroeder. Schroeder was the main star of early seasons of Vanderpump Rules. Her quips, her birthday meltdowns, and her ability to say the meanest thing imaginable to everyone all made her an icon of reality TV. In the second episode of Pump Rules, she warned, “I am the Devil, and don’t you forget it.”

The former SURver was eventually fired from Vanderpump Rules in 2020 for racist behavior toward ex-VPR cast member Faith Stowers. “I am the reason why I’m in this situation,” she said of her behavior. “I think a lot of people wanted me to focus on cancel culture and whether I was a victim or not, and it’s just not how I feel at all.” During her time away from our TV screens, Schroeder educated herself on race in America, married Beau Clark, had two children, and wrote two books. This is a kinder, gentler Stassi who shows up to Lisa Vanderpump’s Castello Rosato. But old habits die hard and she still goes apeshit on her birthday, which is part of the reason why anyone’s watching this spinoff of a spinoff. So, because you’re curious, here’s a guide to the best of Stassi on Vanderpump Villa.

How much Stassi are we getting?

Overall, this season of Vanderpump Villa focuses on Vanderpump taking the staff to Italy to compete over who gives the best service. That service often involves giving lap dances to/making out with guests. At the end of the show, someone wins $30,000 and a full-time job at a Vanderpump establishment.

Stassi shows up to Castello Rosato about halfway into the first episode and leaves ten minutes into the finale. She and her husband, Beau, have an average of three scenes per episode, usually focused on her attempting to learn Italian so she can get citizenship. The exception is episode seven, “Stassi’s Birthday Meltdown,” in which she is the special guest.

Why does Stassi freak out on her birthday?

Stassi starts her birthday celebration with guests Georgie (her sister), Georgia (Beau’s sister), Rob (Beau’s best friend), Taylor (Stassi’s best friend), and Taylor (Taylor’s partner). So there’s Georgie, Georgia, Taylor, and Taylor — got that?

The first night at dinner, Stassi gets upset that her husband and his sister have tattoos of each other’s names. She thinks Beauty should get a tattoo of her name (something that Jax Taylor did in season two of VPR after they had broken up), and Beau refuses because he says it’s bad luck to get a romantic partner’s name tattooed. Stassi doesn’t like this refusal and sees it as evidence that Beau puts his sister before her and that there may be latent incestuous feelings between the siblings. Yikes! One of the Taylors mentions that siblings who didn’t grow up together, like Beau and Georgia, can develop romantic attachments, as she’s seen it happen on Law & Order. Double yikes! This gets Stassi even more wound up, so she confronts Beau, during which we get this incredible exchange:

Beau: I think you should check yourself about how you’re talking to me.
Stassi: No.

Stassi feels as though Beau values Georgia more than her because she makes him feel “unsafe.” One of the villa staff members, Hagen, then calls Stassi iconic and declares how privileged he is to be “front row” to a Stassi birthday fight.

But is it really her birthday?

It is not! Stassi’s birthday is in June, and the show was shot in August.

What’s her “job” at the villa?

To put it in SUR terms, she’s kind of a Peter (a manager). Lisa brings her to the villa to spy on the staff and insert herself into their personal business. For example: When she sees a staff member crying because everyone is annoyed with him, she goes to see what’s wrong and then tells him, “I can see why everyone is annoyed with you.” In fairness, the guy is really annoying.

She also gets involved in the crossover episode with The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives when bartender Sam kisses Layla Taylor, who appears on Mormon Wives. The kiss causes Sam’s situationship to blow up, and Stassi reports this all back to Lisa, who is thrilled with the mess.

Why are staff members kissing guests? That seems like an HR nightmare.

Yeah, the power dynamics in this show are super-weird. Guests have to fill out comment cards at the end of their stay, noting who was the best and worst on staff. So if you reject a kiss, it could, in theory, endanger your job. It’ll definitely get in the way of winning $30,000. During a different kiss fiasco, Stassi says one of the staff “had to” kiss a guest during a game of Drink or Dare. “It sounds like I’m running a brothel, for God’s sake!” Lisa says. Babe, you kind of are.

And what does Beau do?

Beau is mainly there to teach Stassi Italian. Beau and their children have Italian citizenship, and Stassi can get it if she can pass the language test. In episode four, she suggests that maybe bribing someone is the way to go rather than actually learning the language.

How much classic Stassi are we really getting?

Stassi is very much the comic relief. She’s not here to be the villain, except on her fake birthday. That said, we do get some fun moments between her, Beau, LVP, and the gang. Here, some highlights:

➽ In the first episode, she asks for a side of ranch dressing. This prompts Lisa’s husband, Ken, to ask what ranch even is. Boy, you run restaurants. You are not too fancy to know what ranch is. This is almost as fake as that time you brought up Scandoval rumors on-camera.

➽ In episode two, she says her death-row meal would be an Aperol spritz.
➽ In episode five, she lets it slip that she and Beau had sex in a ball pit after their daughter’s 1st-birthday party.
➽ In episode eight, she participates in a séance and asks a ghost if they think she’s hot. Ouija board points to Yes.
➽ In episode nine, she stomps grapes and worries her spray tan will leach into the resulting wine and taste weird.

By the end, has she actually learned Italian?

What is Italian for “no”? Don’t ask Stassi.

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