The Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap: Saddle Up!

The yee-haw agenda continues to sweep the nation as many of us prepare our best Americana looks for Beyoncé’s tour, which embodies the culmination of our sudden cultural interest in Black cowboys. And it’s not only a Black thing — it took a moment for me to think of a Bravo series that hasn’t had a western event in the last five years. Sure, it’s become a bit stale, but hopefully this means we can say goodbye to the forever overdone 1920s themes (seriously, let’s give it up). Still, since this trend is a particularly proud moment for Black Americans, and it’s the season’s first trip, I embrace Porsha’s Cowboy Carter-inspired Nashville birthday with open arms. It’s a much-needed transitional episode, doing the tedious job of tying up loose ends from the muck of the past three weeks while setting up some promising drama for the rest of the season.

Leaving the city is the best course of action for the show as we’re in desperate need of clearing the air after pistol-gate. It’s gotten out of hand both on-screen and off, and I just want to embody Taylor Armstrong’s empathic “enough!” to make it all stop. Every fiber of my being hopes we wrap up this storyline after this episode, leaving any further discourse to blogs, the chronically online, and Kenya’s YouTube ramblings. Unfortunately, Brit drags some residuals of her pity party into the episode while car shopping with her husband in a scene devoid of any chemistry and then at dinner with Drew. Drew continues to dutifully poke holes in Brit’s victim narrative, telling the new girl that her smug attitude following Kenya’s firing is alienating. Brit asserts that she’s an “open book,” granting Drew permission to rapid-fire questions about the newbie’s past.

We’ve encountered a lot of talk surrounding alleged sex work on the Housewives, but never has a wife laid it out on the table quite as crudely or hilariously as Drew when she blatantly asks Brit if she’s ever “sold it.” Brit stutters through her denials, owning up to merely “doing webcam” and having “naked conversations” with one of her female friends for a week in her 20s. In her confessional, she proclaims it was something “daring” and “spicy,” talking about it as if it were a belly piercing and not casual sex work before saying anyone who shames her for it has done “way worse.” Brit has certainly lived a colorful life that she’s doing her best to sugar coat, but picking apart her past to further slut shame her does nothing to absolve Kenya from the breech in privacy — though hats off to Drew for asking the questions we were all thinking.

Plus, Drew deserves to relish in some messiness that has nothing to do with her for once, as her divorce gets uglier by the day. A lot of Drew’s drama is a prison of her own making — her lies know no bounds from claiming to be Michael Jordan’s cousin to the news that she somehow recognized and received a DM from the owner of the penis in the explicit photo of Brit ( I screamed when Brit asked if Drew sucked the dick too) — but dealing with Ralph is a type of torture I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Ralph is a narcissist so entrenched in the belief that he’s both the hero and victim that he doesn’t care if the courts unseal the divorce documents that would make his cheating, lying, and financial abuse public. In a scene freaklishly reminsicnet of Bob Whitfield sticking his tongue out at Shereé in court, we see Ralph gleefully singing and dancing (despite knowing his children will see how he treated their mother) after a hearing declares that he’s allowed to stay in the marital home before Drew interrupts his victory lap by yelling at him from her car and calling him a dumbass.

A girl’s trip to Nashville would be the perfect respite for Drew amidst the drama … except she’s not invited. Porsha is still harboring resentment from the Dennis debacle, and apparently so is Ralph, even though Drew claims she had a conversation with both of them prior to filming and they weren’t upset then. It’s hard to decipher any semblance of truth when all parties involved are known liars, but girl code should trump everything, so I remain team Porsha, though I agree with Cynthia’s observation that it seems Porsha cares more than she’s letting on. And rightfully so! Hanging out with my baby daddy is not the way to glean an invitation to my birthday party. But it’s not as if Drew will be all that missed — Porsha assembles her own squad of friends, including her castmates sans Drew as well as some familiar faces like her sister Lauren, Cynthia, and Monyetta.

Angela is the only one feeling the absence of her fellow Chicagoan, and in yet another moment that could lead to her being a contender for this season’s MVP, she takes it upon herself to extend the invite to Drew. She and her fan (Twitter has taken to calling her stans “fan-gelas” which I love) may have missed the flight, but she makes up for lost time by immediately dropping the bomb that she “anticipates” seeing Drew in Nashville. She argues that since Porsha said she could co-exist with Drew and pretended to lose service when Angela inquired about Drew’s presence, the invitation was still up in the air. During her confessional, she says, “Unless you say ‘no,’ then that means, ‘hell yeah, let’s go!’” Basically, Angela fills the role of production puppet to ensure the first cast trip features the full cast and expertly stirs the pot by announcing the surprise appearance before Drew even lands, successfully activating Porsha.

It’s quintessential Housewife drama, the type that inspired the hilarious Loiter Squad parody (Shamea saying “How you gonna invite somebody else on somebody else’s trip?” had the same delivery as Tyler’s famous “birthday gift at my birthday party” quip). In this way, the trip starts as a return to form, furthered by the ladies clamoring over the best room while excitedly displaying their many western-themed looks with Cowboy Carter-esque short shorts and hats deserving of Kyle Richards’s praise. The news of Drew’s arrival ruffles Porsha’s feathers, but not enough to keep the turn-up from continuing. They go to the bar and take turns on the mechanical bull before settling down for dinner, where Drew’s whereabouts come up again as the topic of discussion.

Back in Atlanta, Drew says she needs “a laugh or two” after dealing with Ralph, and crashing Porsha’s birthday party is definitely a choice way to gain a chuckle. But she could never pass up a chance at filming or manufacturing drama, so before she heads to Nashville, she and her sister/bodyguard Alison stop at Dennis’s club, Cru, to celebrate her recent record deal. Still probably scared of what his baby mom will do if he’s caught filming again, Dennis reserves his appearance to a FaceTime cameo, making Drew’s insistence on promoting his brands look even more desperate (I mean, what is more depressing than those bottle girls hyping the empty room). Over at dinner in Nashville, Angela stands ten toes down in her size 12 shoes, defending her decision to invite Drew. Sufficiently filled with drinks and galvanized by the support of her friends, “old” Porsha rears her head as she states that she felt pressured to include Drew. She erupts, asking Angela, “What kind of glue is on your mother fucking wig?” as if the toxins seeped into her brain to make her believe inviting Drew was the right choice.

With no choice but to explain the drama to the rest of the table, Porsha shares with her friends that Drew is absent because she “did some things that were undercover.” Lauren fills in the blanks, adding that Drew “allegedly” talking to Dennis about more than making music contributed to the rift in the friendship. At this revelation, one of Porsha’s friends shatters the attempts at subtleties by frankly stating, “She sucked some dick,” leading to gasps and screams among the women. Porsha doesn’t confirm or deny this when a producer asks about the validity of the claim in her confessional. Instead, she asserts that fellatio is Dennis’s “thing” and it helps him keep his body count “balanced.” With this tea on the table, plus Brit’s threat of revealing the rumor about Charles having an outside baby, and Phaedra’s forthcoming return, let’s get ready to saddle up for the rest of the season because we’re just getting started.

Peach Tea To-Go

• Kelli continues to bring an unabashed absurdity that I’m enjoying more each week. From wearing real fur while bragging about coloring her dog with cruelty free dye to protect it from a kidnapping to embracing her nip slips (the scene of her and Brit lotioning up their cleavage was too funny), I love her harmless contradictions and over-the-top joie de vivre in the face of a tumultuous situation with her ex.

• Speaking of Kelli’s dog ChaCha, she reminds me of Quad’s dogs from the early seasons of Married to Medicine, who also resemble Lisa Frank’s illustrations come to life. With Kenya out of the picture and Brit’s future shaky at best, I stand by my opinion that Quad would make a better fit for RHOA than M2M. Another contender would be Porsha’s friend from the Nashville trip, Ami, whose children are the famous kidfluencer twins Ava and Alexis McClure. Kandi, Shamea, Monyetta, Quad, and Porsha were all recently at Ami’s birthday party, so she’s already ingrained in the group. And from tonight’s episode, it’s clear she has no problem jumping in to defend her friends.