Top Chef Recap: Brunch with a Side of Sabotage

When Top Chef embraces a filming location (and all the $upport its local government provides throughout the season), it really embraces it. From the challenges to the judges to the elaborate kitchen set, this show isn’t afraid of risking tackiness in the name of a theme. If you invited Top Chef to a theme party, it would commission an elaborate custom piece and scoff at your paltry Party City attempts.

Which is to say: this week’s episode leans into the Canada of it all so hard that it once again feels like a giant (accidental!) middle finger to all those nonsensically pushing anti-Canada agendas right now. I’ll leave it to actual Canadians to dissect how successful the show’s depiction is, but from where I’m sitting, it’s making our northern neighbor look pretty great.

After Massimo kicks the morning off by leading a rooftop yoga session (we’ve only just begun to peel back Montreal Fabio’s onion layers, huh?), the chefs meet Kristen, Official Top Chef Canada Ambassador Gail Simmons, and Sarah Levy, a.k.a. “Twyla from Schitt’s Creek,” a.k.a. daughter of Eugene, a.k.a. sister of Dan. The Quickfire challenge? Poutine! Make it good, make it interesting, make it Top Chef. Just make poutine.

With 30 minutes on the clock, the 14 chefs grab all different kinds of potatoes to make their poutines stand out. We’ve got sweet potato (Lana), yucca (Tristen and Henry), and plantains (Paula). We’ve got a potato in “tomato gravy” (Vinny), a take on stroganoff (Anya), and an affectionate ode to “fromage squeak squeak” (Massimo, obviously). We’ve got it all, and I want it all — except Bailey’s “Korean shrimp arrabbiata,” which commits the classic Quickfire sin of being more of a [Miranda Priestly voice] pile of stuff than a coherent plate of food.

Corwin, meanwhile, confesses that he’s never made poutine and doesn’t really understand “what the hell is in that sauce … stuff … ” — which is surprising since he comes off as a man who likes to do his homework. The second these chefs knew they’d be going to Canada, they absolutely should’ve prepared for a poutine challenge!

Shuai did exactly that, and so the creamy fondant potato he practiced to death before the show indeed comes out perfectly. It’d almost be a shame he had to use it on a Quickfire, but the win banks him $5,000 and a priceless confidence boost. Also in the top are two more straightforward takes on poutine, fittingly from Montreal Massimo and Kat, who grew up in Wisconsin and wasn’t about to mess up cheese curds. Landing in the bottom are Henry (for the sin of a spongy scallion pancake), Paula (for texture issues), and Bailey (for the aforementioned Pile of Stuff). The face Bailey pulls after her name’s called betrays her annoyed frustration; she hasn’t clicked into a groove and doesn’t seem to know how. In other seasons, she might’ve gotten more time to figure it out. But as part of a cast that Gail calls “the Quickfire kings,” there’s no time to waste.

Onward to the Elimination Challenge, which somehow manages to get even more Canadian. After declining to introduce Daniel Boulud on the (correct) basis that he doesn’t need an introduction, Kristen gives a brief history of maple syrup “sugar shacks,” which will also serve as the serving site for their meals. Split into two random teams of seven, the chefs have to create a seven-course progression meal that includes maple in every dish. As such, they’ll also have to cook brunch because this show loves to provide exposure therapy for chefs confronting their worst nightmares. Case in point: Boulud also cheekily requests that someone make him a soufflé. The chefs keep their cool, but if we could get a glimpse into their brains Inside Out style, you best believe Anxiety would be making a beeline for the fire alarm.

The Brown Team — made up of Lana, Shuai, César, Zubair, Tristen, Paula, and Corwin — throws out ideas ranging from toad in the hole, French toast, and chawanmushi, a Japanese steamed egg dish that Corwin’s confident he can pull off even if it makes Tristen openly nervous. The Green Team — Kat, Katianna, Henry, Anya, Massimo, Vinny, and Bailey — also keeps it relatively simple, though Vinny volunteers to take Boulud up on his soufflé challenge. Massimo, who’s cited Boulud as his first and most influential mentor, is happy to let “Mr. Immunity” take that bullet. (“I’m … not making a soufflé for Daniel, I’m making steak and eggs.”)

Of course, Top Chef wouldn’t be Top Chef if it didn’t throw in yet another twist, preferably one that makes only marginal sense on behalf of a sponsor. This time, Kristen has the unenviable task of scaring the shit out of them in the Whole Foods parking garage to explain that, in honor of their Wells Fargo Active Cash Cards (lol), they’ll get 2 percent of their budget back (lmao). So they’ll get to buy a few more ingredients — but for the other team, which will have to use whatever they get into at least one dish. Also, the winning team gets $35,000 to split between them, so another $5,000 per chef is once again up for grabs.

This group of chefs seems like they’re genuinely having fun with the show and each other, which is always great to see, and, frankly, usually produces better food overall. But given 50 bucks to shop for their competition, the knives come out. Even as the Brown Team starts off agreeing they don’t want to “screw them screw them,” that approach changes after Paula points out that the Green Team has Massimo, who will absolutely delight in the opportunity to mess with them. Cut to Massimo absolutely delighting in the opportunity to mess with them, cackling at the idea of shopping for everything from live eels to tripe to (as per Vinny’s diabolical suggestion) “a whole pizza.” Saboteurs!

The Brown Team ends up grabbing just two items: a bottle of white truffle oil and a whole pre-cooked lasagna. The Green Team diversifies, selecting a few slices of stodgy pizza before hitting up the candy aisle for candy corn, red hots, and caramel corn. With every villainous giggle Massimo unleashes, I fear I love him more and more.

There’s some overlap between the teams’ menus, between Tristen and Massimo taking on steak and eggs, Lana and Katianna maple-curing salmon, and Henry and Zubair doing their own spins on fried chicken. But with only 2 hours of cooking time, most of the kitchen drama comes down to timing. Bailey’s mixer stops mixing, forcing her to restart her tarts from scratch. Corwin’s chawanmushi does indeed prove tricky to cook all the way through, to the point that he doesn’t get all the steaming plastic off the bowl and cruelly ends up going to Chef Boulud. Even if he wins Top Chef, watching a baffled Boulud peel Saran-Wrap off his fingers will undoubtedly haunt Corwin forever.

Overall, though, everyone did a pretty good job! This is clearly a strong cast that’s down to get creative with the challenges, which is excellent news. I was also glad to see production avoid a pet peeve of mine with Top Chef progression challenges like last season’s Miller High Life™ one, which served each course from both teams simultaneously. How can you properly judge an individual progression menu when you’re eating two different menus at once?! You can’t! So it was a relief when this episode just let each team serve their dishes all in a row in the true style of a progression meal so the judges could actually understand their choices.

The Brown Team goes first, immediately serving up one of the dishes adjusted on the fly post-sabotage. Shuai incorporated the pizza into his toad in the hole with a maple togarashi-cured yolk, which Gail and the judging table agree “sort of works!” Lara’s maple-cured salmon with everything bagel spice gets generally positive reviews, as does César’s poached lobster, though his curry biscuit gets dinged for density. Tristen’s maple jerk steak and dukkah grits are well-seasoned (with red hots!), and even though Paula’s French Toast is very sweet, thanks in large part to having to make “candy corn creme anglaise,” the judges still enjoy it.

But it’s Zubair’s tandoori maple-fried chicken that proves a clear standout, ultimately winning him both immunity and this episode’s award for #1 Dish I Personally Need to Eat Immediately (™ previous Top Chef recapper Roxana Hadadi). You only need one look at it to understand why Zubair credits this sandwich as the reason for his success as a chef. It’s bursting with color and crisp and flavor and if I don’t get fried chicken in my mouth ASAP, I may have to sue myself for neglect.

Despite their eventual loss, the Green Team is also pretty successful. The highs — Kat’s congee with maple bacon chili crisp, Anya’s Siberian-inspired syrnitki, and Vinny’s gutsy soufflé — are high. Katianna’s maple-cured salmon tartare with whipped silken tofu and Massimo’s steak and eggs with “maple lasagna bordelaise” are good, but don’t have enough maple flavor to satisfy the judges.

But the gods of Top Chef chaos, unmoved by efficiency, still demand a sacrifice. And though Corwin’s steaming disaster briefly threatens to sink his team, the other menu’s maple shortcomings seal their fate. The bottom two are Henry’s limp fried chicken (fried in the remains of Zubair’s winning oil, no less) and Bailey’s maple tart, which was so underbaked that all Kristen could taste was flour. Plus, her choice to also use honey ended up negating the maple flavor, leaving the judges with a sad, pale disc of dough and pineapple. Having never hit her Top Chef stride, Bailey packs her knives and goes to try her luck on Last Chance Kitchen.

Stray Crumbs

• “I hate brunch.” — Tom Colicchio, reminding us he’s a chef’s chef first and always.

• Kristen Kish Suit Envy Watch: Her white, blue, and khaki striped suit was perfectly brunch appropriate and only ranks at a 7 for me personally because I’m a winter who does not look great in those colors. (At least she, unlike Gail, avoided tie-dye, which … we simply don’t have time to unpack.)

• I lol’ed when the music cut as Vinny and Henry held their breath to stare at the soufflés. Very cute editing choice.

• Would love for Henry to stick around, both because he’s a sweetheart and to see more of his beautiful watercolors.

• Lovely to see Evelyn Garcia of Top Chef: Portland again! I’m not surprised to hear Henry say that running a restaurant with her means laughter all day, every day; what a gem.

• Zubair getting laid off from his finance job during the 2008 recession and becoming a chef is a truly admirable career pivot; good for him and everyone who gets to eat his sandwiches!

• Anya’s pinecone jam made her the runner-up for Dish I Personally Need to Eat Immediately™. No one at the judging table had ever eaten anything like it, so I’m sure I haven’t either, and now I must.