Top Chef Recap: Family Meal

After 20-plus years of being a Top Chef fan, it’s become impossible for me to watch without trying to read the tea leaves of every episode’s edit — and that’s never more true than when witnessing the pressure cooker that is Restaurant Wars. Is that reaction shot of Tom Colicchio good or bad? What does that knife sound mean?! Does it spell doom for a chef when he gets a flashback photo montage of growing up in communist China?? As with any reality show, there are always tells, and I — an intrepid TV critic with the occasionally deranged laser focus of a truffle hound — am always determined to sniff ’em out.

But as Kristen Kish reminds Tristen at the judges’ table while choking back tears, this reality-competition show “is also real life.” It’s called “reality” for a reason, after all. No matter how much you think you know the rhythms of this competition and your job within it, there’s sometimes no way of knowing what’s actually coming.

For a while there, I was sure this week’s biggest wrenches in the mix would be (a) having the chefs draw knives to form teams instead of doing a draft pick, (b) mandating a three-course meal with two dishes each, and (c) immediately making them decide who would take on the high-risk/high-reward roles of executive chef and front of house. But the sudden death of Tristen’s stepfather — whose beaming face we saw over FaceTime just a few episodes ago — is such a devastating reminder of the very real world that exists outside of Top Chef’s manufactured bubble. Seeing Tristen accept both his mother’s request to stay in the game and the responsibility of leading his team to victory gives the ridiculous exercise that is Restaurant Wars a whole different weight.

Before Tristen’s awful news, I’d been trying to suss out the edit’s implications with Sherlockian determination. His team features a lot of personalities that could clash, between himself, Lana, Vinny, and Massimo. But they’ve also worked together in varying ways throughout the season without incident, so maybe he was just anticipating any possible curveballs …? In any case, Tristen and his immunity take on executive chef. After winning rock-paper-scissors against Lana, Massimo gets front of house. He does not, thankfully, win approval for the restaurant concept of “six dishes representing the history of Canada’s colonization.” (C’mon, man.) Tristen’s “plant-forward” idea is vague, but at least it’s not that. With that, “Phlora and Phauna” — a name I’d otherwise assume is for a dispensary — is born.

Meanwhile, the team of executive chef Paula, César, Bailey, and front-of-house Shuai get the happy-go-lucky music of a quasi-underdog team making good. I even convinced myself they were following in the footsteps of Gregory Gourdet’s Kann pop-up in “All Stars 2,” which also saw the allegedly “weaker” team triumphing by sticking to their concept while simply sidestepping any potential drama. Instead, “Nonna Pipón” — so named for a menu inspired by their grandmas — ends up taking an unfortunate turn for the “Country Captain” (albeit without the extremely unsavory plantation vibe).

Since everyone has a set amount of time to do all their shopping and prep their food for the next day, time management becomes even more crucial than usual. Paula’s team chooses not to split up while shopping. They go to St. Lawrence Market for their specialty items all together, realize they’re running out of time already, and send Paula and Bailey running to Whole Foods while César and Shuai start to prep — without, as it turns out, the seafood Shuai needs to marinate for his one (1) dish. It’s such an unnecessary delay that sets off a domino effect of scrambling. Once Shuai and the waiters fail to explain the family-style concept to their communal tables, they’ve quickly got themselves one hell of a backed-up service.

When it comes to the actual meals, though, both teams do pretty well! I, for one, love to see it. As iconic as a good Restaurant Wars meltdown can be, the stress rarely pays off quite like watching teams grind out great restaurants despite all odds.

No team exemplifies that ethos more than Tristen’s, which comes together to support him and create beautiful dishes that edge out Nonna Pipón’s in both ambition and execution. Tristen’s determined to keep it together, and it seems like taking on the all-consuming role of executive chef at least keeps him focused on something other than his grief. But his exhausted response to winning Restaurant Wars (not to mention $10,000) tells the real story. As the depth of his loss keeps hitting him, I’m really worried for him going forward.

Though Tristen wins, every chef on his team gets rave reviews for dishes including Vinny’s butternut squash confit, Lana’s potlikker consommé, Massimo’s corn and blueberry ice cream dessert, and Tristen’s West African mushroom escovitch. (Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme.) In fact, the judges — including season 11’s Nina Compton and Top Chef Canada judge Janet Zuccarini — like most everything about Phlora & Phauna, but are split on the efficacy of Massimo’s hosting style.

I gotta say, I’ve seen chatter about Massimo’s getting a “villain edit,” and I … don’t think so? If anything, he’s the personality hire that’s been keeping Top Chef’s producers fed and happy all season. Yes, he’s clearly a capital-P Presence in the kitchen, which doesn’t always sit well with the other chefs just trying to get on with things. But he’s also a convivial co-worker who throws himself into everything headlong with so much enthusiasm you’d think every day was his Super Bowl. As he grabs a mop to make the dining room shine, this situation’s clearly no different.

It also does seem like fate that Massimo should follow in Fabio Viviani’s footsteps to become one of the most Italian hosts the show’s ever seen. He actually reminds me a lot of the Italian owner of my favorite Brooklyn restaurant, who greets everyone with an over-the-top passion I truly love; I immediately feel like he’s welcoming me home. Massimo channels that vibe here. I agree that his crouching down with elbows on the table could be startling (though, in his defense, it’s really hard to hear people in echoey warehouses like that). But I nonetheless didn’t love Janet Zuccarini going out of her way to call him “unrefined” before announcing the win. Massimo’s Massimo, but he also kept the service smooth and gracious even in the most trying times — which is, unfortunately, more than we can say for Shuai.

Who else heard Shuai wonder when he should talk to the judges and yelled “IMMEDIATELY”? If you’ve ever watched a single Restaurant Wars ep, you know that’s the only answer. Instead, Shuai wanders about pouring other people’s drinks. He eventually goes over to say hi but still forgets to explain who made which dish until they ask. Also, his negligence to explain how family-style ordering works throws off the whole team’s expediting process in a way that proves hard to shake.

That, plus the fact that his one (1) dish was a clear weak point, makes a solid case for Shuai packing his knives and going. But Paula’s average entrée and clunker of a tres leches dessert set off the judges’ alarm bells — even more so, unfortunately, when they realized how much of the other dishes she took on without ever really making improvements.

Bailey, who’d earlier identified Paula’s restaurant-opening experience as an asset, makes a valiant effort to save her by pointing out how much responsibility she assumed along the way. Unfortunately, the quickest way to get on Tom’s bad side — especially when he’s at peak Grumpy Mode as he seemed to be that night — is for an executive chef to sacrifice the quality of the food while appeasing other people.

With Paula’s elimination, there are only two (2) women left in the competition. I’d been a little wary of calling that out before now, but it’s officially a Pretty Bad Look. Even if Paula wasn’t one of the strongest chefs overall, it’s hard to see her go home for stepping up and maybe doing too much over someone who probably did too little. It’s at least a familiar enough scenario for Kristen, whose Restaurant Wars stint as executive chef famously sent her to Last Chance Kitchen over a teammate whose lackadaisical approach gummed up all the gears. (Not that Shuai is a Josie, I would never slander him like that.)

As Gail says with an aw-shucks ruefulness, it’s “always the executive chef or front of house” who becomes the ultimate casualty of Restaurant Wars. Which … kinda sucks, to be honest! Unless a line cook serves something completely inedible/raw/disgusting, there’s almost no way for them to lose. Restaurant Wars is the show’s signature challenge for many reasons — Drama! Intrigue! Big flavors and increasingly drunk diners! — but there does seem to be an inherent flaw in the system if this is how the cookie always crumbles.

Leftovers

• On a brighter note, this week’s Kristen Kish Suit Envy Watch is a blaring “10000/10!!” alarm, because damn, Kish! The sparkly black pants with the tux shirt alone would’ve been solid, but slinging an undone bowtie around her neck like she’s coming from the final hour of a wedding? Whew. Okay, lemme stop before I go full on Pepé Le Pew: 10000/10.

• I never would’ve called Spike’s Top Chef legacy being the one I’d think of most this season, but Massimo eavesdropping on the judges to their obvious annoyance (Janet, Gail) and/or amusement (Kristen, me) really gives me no choice.

• Biggest difference between the ECs: Paula left the almonds chunky in Bailey’s romesco as requested, while Tristen had no problem telling Lana her consommé needed “more salt, more acid, more.” Sometimes an EC does have to make the call they think is best!

• Tom may have been grumpy, but his words to Tristen after hearing about his father’s death — “your parents should be commended, they did a great job with you” — were really lovely.

• Last Chance Kitchen spoilers ahead: With Katianna continuing to steamroll the competition, it’s hard not to root for a Kristen-esque return … though that would also mean she’d eventually have to beat Tristen, the chef who became the obvious front-runner in her absence. Is Top Chef a Shakespearean comedy or drama? Why not both, I say.

• One more Restaurant Wars down! What would you do to tweak/improve/etc. it in future seasons?