Trump’s Envoys to Hollywood Should Star in an Expendables Movie Instead

Because nothing says “A good person for politics” more than these three guys. Donald Trump has selected Join Voight, Mel Gibson, and Sylvester Stallone to be his “Special Envoys” to Hollywood, whatever that means. “They will serve as Special Envoys to me for the purpose of bringing Hollywood, which has lost much business over the last four years to Foreign Countries, BACK — BIGGER, BETTER, AND STRONGER THAN EVER BEFORE!” Trump said on Truth Social on January 16. “These three very talented people will be my eyes and ears, and I will get done what they suggest. It will again be, like The United States of America itself, The Golden Age of Hollywood!” Hollywood has struggled in recent years to keep productions local, as filming in the U.K., or even domestically in Atlanta, is so much cheaper. But are these guys really competent enough to accomplish any mission that isn’t scripted by a team of three people and directed by a random man? Yes, they have great films on their IMDb, but one is a right-wing talking head who is estranged from his famous daughter, one spouted antisemitic comments and pled guilty to misdemeanor battery, and the other was accused of sexual assault but ultimately never charged. Political figures they are not, but a ragtag group of retired hit men starring in a direct-to-streaming Expendables 5? That seems more their speed.

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